Today began with some fruit, good mood and Beegees
it slowly transfigured into Espresso and high energy Classical
and inevitably slipped down into an episode of madness and Karma (Delirium)
(I think what you told me about coffee yesterday might be true, I am going to conduct an experiment and switch to tea, limiting my contact with coffee down to Turkish style :: mmm ~I'm going to get one of them pretty pots (a cezve) and a set of beauty cups and learn online how to make it perfect :)
I also want to do the same with tea. I feel that we consume too much without thought and a large portion of it is - liquids. I would like to turn it into a special occasion, bring it back to the ritual that it is meant to be.
It's another weird day today. Not quite sure what to do with myself- it feels like the world is too big and too small all at once. I am both afraid and bored of its vastness, the vastness that is both great and pathetic. Pathetic, filled with all of the world's trash - anything but the feeling of emptiness, anything to fill the void, anything but to feel exposed, vulnerable and utterly alone. Everything - to hide what we feel inside. Sometimes I feel a sick desire to turn myself inside out somehow and run outside screaming (inward). Do you ever stand on the edge and feel physically scared (as if you're falling already and you can feel it)? I feel scared because I feel like I will spontaneousely jump (without hesitating to decide on it, to consult with my own self, without a permisson from my mind or body) as if it was someone else pushing me, someone else that is also me; and I'm realizing all of this while I'm falling while I stand looking down. It's a weird feeling. I should probably go get some fresh air.
and hey, get on that music productiontingzz::
<3
it slowly transfigured into Espresso and high energy Classical
and inevitably slipped down into an episode of madness and Karma (Delirium)
(I think what you told me about coffee yesterday might be true, I am going to conduct an experiment and switch to tea, limiting my contact with coffee down to Turkish style :: mmm ~I also want to do the same with tea. I feel that we consume too much without thought and a large portion of it is - liquids. I would like to turn it into a special occasion, bring it back to the ritual that it is meant to be.
It's another weird day today. Not quite sure what to do with myself- it feels like the world is too big and too small all at once. I am both afraid and bored of its vastness, the vastness that is both great and pathetic. Pathetic, filled with all of the world's trash - anything but the feeling of emptiness, anything to fill the void, anything but to feel exposed, vulnerable and utterly alone. Everything - to hide what we feel inside. Sometimes I feel a sick desire to turn myself inside out somehow and run outside screaming (inward). Do you ever stand on the edge and feel physically scared (as if you're falling already and you can feel it)? I feel scared because I feel like I will spontaneousely jump (without hesitating to decide on it, to consult with my own self, without a permisson from my mind or body) as if it was someone else pushing me, someone else that is also me; and I'm realizing all of this while I'm falling while I stand looking down. It's a weird feeling. I should probably go get some fresh air.
and hey, get on that music productiontingzz::
<3
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