The past three days I tried, as much as I could, to observe people without judging them. People in Russia appear to value appearances a lot and, I presume, spend a large potion of their income (which I imagine is not much larger than that of people in Canada) on it, they walk without looking, smoke a lot, and talk passionately about things that appear to be non of their concern while interrupting each other with irrelevant thoughts.
On the day of my arrival I had decided to look at the past several months of my life in Canada as my training, and now: it was time to come down from the mountain for one of the first Final tests. I felt most at peace that day visiting my grandfather's cemetery - unlike some of the churches I have been to, it did not have an oppressing aura and though I could not see any spirits I believe that I did see their timeless auras separated from the gold sunrays lingering between the tress, and that I could feel the collective energy of the earth every time I touched either a tree, a fence or a tombstone. It all sounds so gothic, I know, but it felt so peaceful it almost inspired me to come there at night just to see if perhaps everything changes during the ruling of the Moon. Then, was also when I realized how odd my own body felt, gravitating from one side to the other in search of your hand. I have noticed myself placing both my hands together a lot, on my lap, or while speaking, on my chest (like a prayer? I imagine that must look rather weird on me, especially during a conversation).
I haven't had much trouble sleeping, but I have been having rather weird dreams which wake me several times during the night. I don't think about how nice it would be to wake up from them to you lying beside me. But, I do think about you a lot. You are always with me, especially when I slow down :) then every action and every thought of mine becomes ours and I feel a thousand times stronger knowing that I carry with me the heart of a tiger.
The stars here are very faint. I am thankful for having had the opportunity to witness a sky like the one we spent the night under just a week ago.
It's weird to think that it has only been three days since I came here. To me it feels as though I've been here for months. I am already used to all the surroundings, the language and people. I don't think, however, I can get used to not having your beautiful elk self near ~
But I love YOU
Yes, I love you
Until: soon
<3
always .
On the day of my arrival I had decided to look at the past several months of my life in Canada as my training, and now: it was time to come down from the mountain for one of the first Final tests. I felt most at peace that day visiting my grandfather's cemetery - unlike some of the churches I have been to, it did not have an oppressing aura and though I could not see any spirits I believe that I did see their timeless auras separated from the gold sunrays lingering between the tress, and that I could feel the collective energy of the earth every time I touched either a tree, a fence or a tombstone. It all sounds so gothic, I know, but it felt so peaceful it almost inspired me to come there at night just to see if perhaps everything changes during the ruling of the Moon. Then, was also when I realized how odd my own body felt, gravitating from one side to the other in search of your hand. I have noticed myself placing both my hands together a lot, on my lap, or while speaking, on my chest (like a prayer? I imagine that must look rather weird on me, especially during a conversation).
I haven't had much trouble sleeping, but I have been having rather weird dreams which wake me several times during the night. I don't think about how nice it would be to wake up from them to you lying beside me. But, I do think about you a lot. You are always with me, especially when I slow down :) then every action and every thought of mine becomes ours and I feel a thousand times stronger knowing that I carry with me the heart of a tiger.
The stars here are very faint. I am thankful for having had the opportunity to witness a sky like the one we spent the night under just a week ago.
It's weird to think that it has only been three days since I came here. To me it feels as though I've been here for months. I am already used to all the surroundings, the language and people. I don't think, however, I can get used to not having your beautiful elk self near ~
But I love YOU
Yes, I love you
Until: soon
<3
always .
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